Friday, January 3, 2014

The Evil Aliens and Their Zombie Slaves

There was a period recently when Ivan was feeling a bit unwell, due, we think, to his recent decision to inhale something disgusting during a walk, a disgusting something that he expelled from both ends. His digestive system clearly needed a rest.

This is the point where the Evil Aliens replace his loving parents with Zombie Slaves who were sent to torture and starve Ivan. Instead of the usual carefully prepared entrĂ©e, he was served a few pathetic grains of rice floating sadly in watery chicken broth. Ivan inhaled this paltry offering, but when he realized no real food would follow, he favored his server with dour looks. When he was slipped only two Charlee Bears at bedtime, he said something that even a minion of the Evil Aliens could tell meant "You're not my real mom."  This torture continued all the next day, as the Zombie Slaves provided no treats and served Ivan only these pitiful meals of watery chicken broth with rice sprinkles. 

Finally, just as Ivan was sure starvation was imminent and he’d never have the energy to play with his fuzzy toys again, his real mom and dad escaped from the Evil Aliens, banished the Zombie Slaves, and provided pasta with chicken broth, thus saving him from wasting away to nothing. At last his poor tummy was no longer empty and shriveled. Things continued to get even better when Ivan received his excellent chicken and sweet potato cuisine and even some treats. Ivan told me he's very glad to have his real mom back. He missed me a lot, especially at meal time.

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