There was a
period recently when Ivan was feeling a bit unwell, due, we think, to his
recent decision to inhale something disgusting during a walk, a disgusting
something that he expelled from both ends. His digestive system clearly needed
a rest.
This is the point
where the Evil Aliens replace his loving parents with Zombie Slaves who were
sent to torture and starve Ivan. Instead of the usual carefully prepared
entrée, he was served a few pathetic grains of rice floating sadly in watery
chicken broth. Ivan inhaled this paltry offering, but when he realized no real
food would follow, he favored his server with dour looks. When he was slipped
only two Charlee Bears at bedtime, he said something that even a minion of the
Evil Aliens could tell meant "You're not my real mom." This torture continued all the next day, as
the Zombie Slaves provided no treats and served Ivan only these pitiful meals
of watery chicken broth with rice sprinkles.
Finally, just as
Ivan was sure starvation was imminent and he’d never have the energy to play
with his fuzzy toys again, his real mom and dad escaped from the Evil Aliens,
banished the Zombie Slaves, and provided pasta with chicken broth, thus saving
him from wasting away to nothing. At last his poor tummy was no longer empty
and shriveled. Things continued to get even better when Ivan received his
excellent chicken and sweet potato cuisine and even some treats. Ivan told me
he's very glad to have his real mom back. He missed me a lot, especially at
meal time.
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